Nostalgia

I hang out with a group of Mommies my own age. Most of whom have toddlers or sweet infants, and I do adore their little ones. Pregnancy always strikes me because the wonder of a new person who has all their avenues still open is jaw-dropping. Eventually, the life of each person is mapped out beginning with the very first question of gender stretching forward into the future of family, education, relationships with friends and those who will be more, occupations and preoccupations... the choices and decisions that will narrow into the road that an individual travels. All this in such a small, precious, needy package.
Not that I fail to recall the constant barrage of needs to be met. The discovery of what "tired" really meant. Baby bird open mouths waiting hungrily for a spoonful of goopy food which would promptly be pushed back out because that whole eating thing was still enigmatic. The calls for "duice" or "miwk", sippy cups, and the occasional lack thereof with the resultant messes. The travails of potty training complete with mental images of my grown daughter headed down the aisle to her future groom in a pull-up. The constant accompaniment of the "Mom", "Mom" chorus throughout each day sung by my trio. Many memories flash through my mind in a flipbook of single moment snapshots. So demanding. So tiring. How wonderful. How deeply precious.
A wise Mom suggested that I tuck baby pictures into the window of my key chain or wallet that faces out--- a visual reminder of the babies who I held close to my heart in their earliest days while I struggle with the ultimate necessity of letting go. They are not leaving home anytime soon, but they are already moving further and further away. They sometimes duck out of hugs. And they venture out into the wide world in explorations of independence with mixed results. We give a bit of freedom, and if they successfully manage it, we give them a bit more. If they blow it, we reign them in until they seem ready to try again. We're not pushing them out of the nest, but we are watching them spread their wings in anticipation of eventual flight.