Articulate

Last night Evan asked me if I am familiar with the scratching sound that cotton makes when one rubs it with a finger. He describes his response to this sound saying, "it makes my blood run cold and sets my teeth on edge". He wondered how I handled that feeling. Oh. (Big girls. They do so cry. But not right now. Because it will freak him out.) Autism is not supposed to be characterized by this sort of verbal ability. But Bipolar Disorder comes with a need to speak aptly referred to as forced speech. Sometimes the Boy is locked away in silence, but this is not one of those times.
Tonight he is wandering a path paved with words that are beginning to bridge the chasm carved out by my hopes and expectations, his wants and likes, and our shared challenges and frustrations in trying to hold onto a relationship that threatens to slither away from us as we enter the teen years.

Me around the swelling in my throat while frantically blinking to prevent tears: "That's sensory."

The Boy: "What? What's sensory?"

Me: "The feeling. It's a sensory thing... and an autism thing. You are sensitive to certain things that I might not notice, but that can overwhelm your senses. You feel things differently, but not just the sensory stuff. Your reaction to the sensory feelings are different, too. Your responses to those feelings are more like mine because they are sometimes too big--- that's a bipolar thing."

The Boy: "Oh. Okay."

Yeah, it is okay.