Friday, January 21, 2011


It was 18 degrees outside this morning. Walker suggested that we try a yoga dvd inside. With the heater on. There was instant agreement. Having slept in sweats last night, it was a simple enough thing to roll out of bed workout ready. Walker had a pair of bright yoga mats unrolled across the living room rug and the coffee table out of the way. She was failing to make the dvd work with the "intuitive" remote, and I was trying to stuff down the trepidation over trying to embrace a workout that involved something more complex than walking.
Artist wandered out of her bedroom and studied us momentarily before issuing the warning that her friend was coming over. (Goody. An audience, or maybe people to call 911...) Artist explained to Walker how to work the t.v. patiently (Seriously, Middle Child just takes the remote away from me and pushes the appropriate buttons to make Evil Electronics work in similar circumstances.), and we eventually had three women (in better shape than us) confronting us from the screen. I started to laugh while Walker and Jillian Michaels both pointed out the lady who would be doing the less painful beginner movements and poses. Of course, the poses have sometimes silly names which failed to diminish the urge to laugh.

Jillian, Walker, Beginner Lady, and More Advanced Lady all assumed the opening pose and inhaled. I tried. The attempted seriousness just led to laughter. The poses led to even more laughter. There was potential for hysteria when the poses were coupled with their names. Artist's friend arrived while Walker and I had our middle-aged behinds pointed skyward and Jillian blathered on about camels or dogs and encouraged us to keep breathing. Artist quietly informed her friend that I'd been laughing the whole time as they passed through. That, of course, struck me as funny.

Walker continued to follow Jillian and the Wonder Twins through the workout. Sometimes I figured out what they were doing before they were all done with it. I eventually quit laughing after a sharp pain radiated from my lower back in response to one of the suddenly less funny poses. Ow. I looked over at Walker and remarked that it was going to be kind of pathetic to have thrown my back out doing the Level 1 Yoga workout. (What the heck do they do at Level 2 anyway?!) She nodded in sympathy and managed to simultaneously keep thrusting her leg into the air in time to her breathing.
After our experimental workout, Walker mentioned that Half Price Books might have a copy of the yoga dvd. Then I could do yoga at my house, too. Mmmph. I thought about the assorted movements and poses. Then I reconsidered them from the male perspective since my mister works from home. Mmm. No. The only way I could see yoga at home being helpful would be if we were trying to get pregnant.


Jan Touchberry said...

Ba Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!

Anonymous said...

And how does one relax and meditiate while contorting in these poses anyway?

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Oh no! Sounds kind of awful! I never tried yoga to a tape before, though.

czstout said...

LOL!!! This post makes me happy :] Don't give up on Yoga! It's fun, different and a great workout :]