In three weeks something crazy will happen. There will be three days when there is no one in the house except me and the furry friends during the day. This happened in August, 2000 (or maybe it was 2001?) while the kids were at my parents and Don was in Lubbock to play with his old band... That was the last time I was alone. Don will not be here, and the kids will all be in school. There is potential for over six hours per day on a three-day stretch that would be solely my own. (Except the kids may be out of school for one of those days now that I think about it...)Practically unprecedented.
Even when away, I am accompanied by the other members of this household. The phone keeps me accessible. When I am away from the assorted people here, I have usually promised to meet other people somewhere else. In between, I am probably that fool on the phone in the Mom-mobile. The up side is that I genuinely do not comprehend true loneliness. Yet, the lack of privacy is sometimes keenly felt.
Turning off the phone would likely lead to a mama hunt. The family would crater. Autism speaks, and it is a bit obsessive about the phone and my whereabouts. Tween girls need to tell their latest drama to their mothers quickly before there is escalation to full-scale trauma. We need something from the store, someone has an asinine question, or there is something no one but me actually can answer, etc. It's good to be needed, but occasionally it would be nice to be a little less hunted, mmm--- make that sought-after.
No clue what I'll do, or if I will just be a little weirded out from not being wanted for a little bit. It is most likely to be time that is somewhat solitary. Because solitude is not loneliness, but simply an opportunity to finally Be Still.
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