Praise to our King

A Thorn in the Flesh 7Because of the surpassing greatness of the (A)revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a (B)thorn in the flesh, a (C)messenger of Satan to torment me--to keep me from exalting myself!
8Concerning this I implored the Lord (D)three times that it might leave me.
9And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for (E)power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather (F)boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 12:7-9

I identify with Paul's "thorn in the flesh". I know pain, but I would like God to remove it. I don't know about any particular revelations, but I do need to be kept humble because I have that all-too-human tendency to be full of myself. Don and I spent years praying for healing, but accepting the continued downward spiral of my health and ability to function. This is no pity party, but an acknowledgement of my own frailty (Oooh, that's the equivalent of a 4-letter word!).
It has been amazing to enjoy a body that works so well over the past nine months. To enjoy the freedom of movement that I admit to coveting in others for so long. To run for distances and cartwheel (!), to open jars and turn door knobs, not to be constantly ill, to travel a bit and enjoy climbing around in the hilly terrain of the Arkansas Boston mountains last summer. The freedom of the last months felt unprecedented despite years as a runner, gymnast, and basketball player. Shedding the weight (packed on thanks to a forced inactivity and seeking a certain amount of pleasure in food) was the outward symbol of the internal change. I have celebrated, and what a praise to God for this healing in answer to our continual prayers!
The past week has been difficult as so many of the past pains and conditions have reared their ugly heads again from the despised arthritis to the feeling of being trapped in this broken body as it entered into another major malfunction with the systemic reaction Tuesday to the IVIG. I suspect this is simply a distraction from the need to pray and to continue to seek Christ. It is too easy to turn my attention inward, and to accept misery rather than be filled with joy and contentment.
Today and yesterday I picked up that cane that is such a symbol in my mind of weakness and went for a walk with Don. It hurt, but not enough to give up. (Not that we went far, but the point was that we went--- not the distance covered.) I wrestle with fear that I will be unable to make the flying leap to climb on a plane and fly 5,ooo+ miles to an unknown place to spend a week with the missionaries there who are committed, yet in need of encouragement and prayer, to continue to share Christ's love with the Poles. I will praise God for this return to circumstances I deplore simply because any accomplishments will serve to further His glory. (I will also be back to praying for a renewal of the precious freedom I have so enjoyed recently!)