Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Broken Stuff

My IVIG has been postponed until Friday. For those of you just joining our program, I have an abnormal immune system. I am given a blood product every 4 weeks by IV. Last month was supposed to be the one month a year when I am given two infusions(every 4 weeks = 13 times a year), but there were issues with the insurance and getting the medication. (At over $5400 per treatment, we need the insurance to cover the IVIG, so we waited for the official authorization. That meant doing two treatments in November instead of October.) Now there is a scheduling error that means waiting three more days late this time. I am worn out, my joints are starting to cause pain again, and I'm concerned because we are running infusions late right in the heart of cold & flu season. I am tired, grouchy, and irritated with my body for not working correctly in the first place.

The Christmas tree toppled this morning. We have all hard floors. 14+ years of carefully selected and stored ornaments representing so many precious moments in our family's lives were broken or smashed. It's not just the loss of the pretty little things, but more of what each one represented. I have redone the tree with the assorted ornaments that are not breakable. I think it might be a little ugly. The good in this is that there is plenty of room for the gigantic kid-made ornaments that would have produced over-crowding previously. I'm still sad though.

My bad attitude is driving me nuts. I cannot get away from me, and I am driving me crazy. I wonder if a nap will chill me out? A walk did not help... I think it just gave me an opportunity to get more worked up. Argh.

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