Nagging

In the early years of our marriage, I was accused of nagging. I never have caught on to why it is "nagging" for a wife to tell her husband what she wants or needs. If she tells him more than once, wouldn't that seem more like an issue on his end since he's the one who's ignoring or putting off a request? In the middle years of our marriage, Don began to change his views on my requests. I would ask him to "take care of" something, and if he did not--- let the consequences fly. I developed the habit of greeting him on the phone or at the door with the words, "I told you so," until the words were no longer necessary, and the look said it all.

It is not fun at all to recognize that a spouse actually has free reign to do dumb stuff, and that there is nothing one can really say or do to avert the potential comedies, tragedies, and inconveniences that will occur as a result. (Kids are different. If we succeed they will eventually set up housekeeping somewhere else. Friends and relatives are different. Their lives are not tied to our well-being in the same way.) We morphed into our latest stage a couple of years back. I have not heard the word "nag" from Don in reference to me in years. He does not even require the look anymore. He just does whatever I ask of him, tells me when he will get around to it, or lets me know that he is not going to do it at all so I can take care of whatever it may be myself. He is developing the ability to read my mind with at least 60% accuracy which is all I ever really wanted from him. He recognizes that the "We" in "We need to [fill in the blank]," is literally translated to "He" or "You". This seemed to be working well for us until very recently.

In the last few days, the nagging has returned. Here's the catch: I am nagging in my sleep. Last Wednesday night I was sound asleep, but asked Don over and over again if he thought the turkey would be cold enough. (The bird was in a brine, and it was iced down. It was fine. The night-time nagging stopped after I got up in the wee hours to check the bird.) I laughed it off thinking it was a strange thing to ask him about over and over again in my sleep. Then he came in from playing late last night to snatch a few hours of sleep before he left to go play at church this a.m. The electric blanket was not warming, and he had paid for it so I had no idea where the receipt was in case it needs to be exchanged. I was soundly sleeping under a pile of blankets by the time he came in last night. Yet I still managed to ask him again and again about the receipt and explained that the blanket that was not warming. He eventually just got out of bed and fixed the blanket. Apparently I quit asking him about the blanket after it started warming. I was pleasantly surprised to find it working when I awoke this morning.