Level Up

Ugh. Last night was infuriating, heart-breaking, depressing, and generally not my cup of tea. The boy succeeded in getting dropped all the way back to Level 3 (in his room) again. He threw things, tore up a wall, growled and spit, the usual fireworks. He decided to blame Dr. Dan instead of me for the Level System. That's new. The level system was all my fault a couple of days ago.

He said he was never going to talk to Dr. Dan again. I said he didn't have to talk to him, but he was going to go to the appointment scheduled for Monday either way. Katie very helpfully informed Evan that Mom and Dad didn't like Dr. Dan either because of the levels. (Ugh. Me and my big mouth.) I explained that we like Dr. Dan just fine, but that we very much fail to appreciate Dr. Dan telling Evan about the Level System and saying that "parents just don't stick with it" without bothering to give us a head's up that he would want us to start the program as discussed weeks ago. Our objections were to the lack of forewarning and to the statements made to Evan with me present about parents as if they all are lazy people who can't be bothered to take responsibility for discipline. I treated the statements made as if they were challenges, but I was not pleased by the derogatory nature.

Yesterday was a mood swing festival of crying jags, screaming, yelling, pounding, and grousing. Today we were able to mitigate his restriction by taking him out for a long walk in the cold followed by our shopping trip. We also decided that we were going to tailor Dr. Dan's plan to better work for us. Instead of the 24 hours required to move up from each level, we are going with 12 hours. Evan's patience is far less than what one can reasonably expect from someone his age. He is doing better this evening. I think I would be ready for a commitment hearing myself if we had replayed last night's behaviors from the boy.

So tonight he has electronics, and he is out of his room. On Monday, Don or I will be having a few polite words with Dr. Dan regarding dropping bombshells like the Level System plan on Evan without preparing him for change. Change is not good for Evan, and a dramatic variation in discipline at home was not the way to go. He usually has a hard time handling the holidays, and the level system definitely exacerbated the usual issues. We are trying to do what we are "supposed to do" by having the boy see a therapist, but thus far I have yet to see any notable benefit to Evan or our family.